Thanksgiving Day is fast approaching. One of the traditions in my family is to go around the table and honor something or someone we are profoundly thankful for. This year, I know with absolute certainty that we will all express gratitude for the same person: my grandson, Bernard. We call him “Bear.” About one year ago, Bear was diagnosed with aggressive, neuroblastoma cancer. The cancer had spread throughout his tiny body, and his prognosis at that time was devastating. I distinctly remember the night his vitals dropped to a truly dire range and he had to be moved to the ICU. We feared we might lose him.
He fought back and endured a year of excruciating therapies and surgeries with incredible grit and courage. Repeatedly, the people who cared for Bear called him their “hero” because of the inspirational model he was to everyone. Now, at age four, after a year of extraordinary medical care, the fierce love of his parents and family, and the overwhelming generosity, support, and prayers of thousands, Bear has received the greatest gift: “No Evidence of Disease”! —Savoring the Good
Bear’s story beautifully illustrates the power of the “attitude of gratitude.” Gratefulness does not mean ignoring the hardships and sufferings of life but with deliberate focus biases towards the positive. In this circumstance, Bear would absorb himself in his favorite things to do in the hospital such as playing with his family with dinosaurs, building structures with magnetic tiles, racing his Hot Wheels down a track or marbles down a ramp. When his pain was under control, he joyfully interacted with the hospital staff who obviously cared for and adored him.
Bear was exercising the skill of savoring the good. It is an active choice to absorb joy, not just passively experience it. I compare it to going to a restaurant that serves your favorite entrée or dessert. You don’t gulp it down; you take small, deliberate bites, chewing slowly as the complex flavors absorb delightfully into your taste buds. The mindful practice of savoring means being fully present in the moment, living in the here and now, with all of your focus on the good things you are experiencing.
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The Act of Cherishing
Bear has inspired the people in his life to magnify the practice of cherishing. Cherishing goes beyond simple appreciation; it is the act of ascribing real, tangible priority and importance to the people, places, and things we most value. It means holding someone or something dear, caring for them tenderly, and treasuring them deeply, not just in our thoughts, but in our actions. Gratitude needs to be expressed, and Bear does so affectionately in hugs, snuggles, and kisses. Cherishing is telling your spouse why you love them today, writing a letter of thanks, paying forward by giving to charity or through acts of kindness or service. In all these ways we count our blessings.
Experts who have researched spiritual or mindfulness practices tend to rate the attitude of gratitude as the most important daily habit of the mind to boost overall physical and mental well-being. We can start the day, as soon as we wake up, by devoting our focused attention to the people, places, and things for which we are thankful. You will experience that this focused attention will color the rest of your day. I also practice meditation just before I go to sleep on what was good, true, or beautiful about the day. I acknowledge in prayer that “every perfect gift comes from above.”
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Flourishing
The benefits of a grateful and “other-focused” mindset has been demonstrated empirically to create a cascade of positive effects. It improves relationships, elevates mood, and acts as a powerful buffer against stress and anxiety, bolstering our ability to be resilient in the face of setbacks. Physically, the practice of gratitude has been shown to result in more restful sleep, a stronger immune system, and better heart health. Our brains and bodies are designed to thrive on thankfulness.
So, this Thanksgiving Day, and every day thereafter, let’s make a conscious commitment to adopt this crucial daily habit of the mind. Let Bear’s example—his ability to find a glimmer of joy even when his life was in the balance—be a profound example for us all. Let’s not wait for the holiday. Let’s actively savor and cherish what is good, true, and beautiful in our lives. This year, when we go around our Thanksgiving table, the expression of gratitude will be more than a tradition; it will be a declaration of hope, a testimony to life, and the foundation of enduring happiness.
